I can now boast that I know Kareena Kapoor,up close and personal.unluckily,had the filmfare awards telecast stretched (just)another half an hour,I would have been able to sketch Kareena with my eyes closed.Just 20 mins into the programme,and I was prophetically announcing ,the next actor/actress in the frame,and there wasn't a very big list to choose from.You don't need to be a genius for that.The usual predictable sequence was hopelessly oscillating between Shakrukh ...Gauri...saif...kareena...saif.....kareena.....Shahrukh,to a point of blur. The function was initiated by Vidya Balan, looking ,like a ready to pop, fanta bottle,(and i thought most men loved her for her cherubic face)ahem!!! the perfect nominee, for the 'wardrobe malfunction' award.I expected SRK and Saif to recreate,the brilliant comic timing they had displayed previously,I waited patiently,and they failed miserably.They tripped time and again over their lines and the jokes fell flat.It just proves,that big stars fail to shine,in the absence of a good script.However, full credit to SRK and Saif for correctly predicting that "we are going to be rude,crass ,cheap and ridiculous",as rude and cheap they were,down to the last E and the P.Their gags lacked humour,were in bad taste,hopelessly ridiculous. The whole show seemed to be a public declaration of the Saif- Kareena love story and 'the tattoo within'.The Saif-Kareena onstage kiss (on the cheek)received more coverage than the union budget ,perhaps.Saawariyaa was literally the 'BUTT' of all jokes,for all BUTT obvious reasons.Maybe they should have renamed it to 'Filmfare Kapoor -Khan -dan' awards.Adding to the misery,was Karan Johar,his usual coyish,boyish and gayish self( he missed no opportunity to kiss Shahrukh on stage( close up Gauri Khan several times) .Not surprisingly,Aamir Khan kept away from the scenario(not even a scene was available from TZP for the nominee listing).Surprisingly,The Bachchan parivar absented themselves(for reasons known).None of the vetrans were present,(and if they were there,no one bothered to cover them). Sigh,I should have watched "hum aapke hain kaun"running on Zee instead.Madhuri,tuffy.....the wonder dog and Salman in a vest ,singing dhik tana..dhik tana,is any day..err any night a more tolerable option.