Monday, July 28


It's amazing how easy it has become to pick up a fight,about the most insanely silliest of things these days.

So,says my dear Husband.

It doesn't take too much(too long) to disagree,but a lot to make the other person to agree and see the logic in what you have to say.But,love and logic are difficult to explain,especially when you have to explain the logic in love.Unfortunately,by then both of us can only see red,and matters of the heart are dealt without the head and only with the tongue.The amazing thing is that most married couple agree with this.There is so much of similarity in the way couples fight.Not just in the way they fight,but also what they fight about.......for each one of us,has our own style....trademarked and copyrighted.The issues however rarely differ from family to family.

It's amazing how we blame everything and everyone around us,whenever the marital thermostat, surges.Stress,traffic,no water,no maid,leftovers from last night,re re re run of a movie,bathroom lights left on(by mistake),kids,their report card,forgotten birthdays......everything but,ourselves.

The A B C'S of a marriage change before and after .They are transformed in the few months of marriage and deformed by the time,you reach the first decade.You start analysing and
counting the years in decades and after 10,the counter just leaps by the tens.

TRUTH changes like the weather,before and after.Once upon a time, truth was the fact that "I can't live without you",now the fact of the matter is that"It's so difficult to live with you".Sweet nothings change to bitter everythings.A lot of times,I feel that wisdom lies in accepting that you(me) are wrong and you(he) is right.Check out the expression on their faces when you do that right in the middle of a heated conversation.......(what?? you can't(don't want to fight anymore !!!).I do that often,these days,Coz I'm told....I often start the fight !!!!!Merely ,not because,you are the man(right)and I'm the woman(wrong).But,because silence is my weapon of conveying the truth,across to you.So,is this wisdom submissiveness,or giving up without a fight?Most people would debate that,I'm sure.

Can we fight when there's just one person in the conversation?NO.It's amazing how easy it is to bring the temperature down,without saying a word.I have discovered the power of silence and the fact that it is a weapon that ignites the other,while helps you to ignore.



--xh-- said...

lot of advice here which i (hopefully ;-) ) will need in future. :-D
silence can act two way - it can either bring down the temper of the other one, or can ignite it more - so we should be very careful when we use this weapon, as in the case of any other weapons.

Prats said...

Silence can help in some situations not always. At times communication works too...but knowing how to convey is more important than what u want conveyed...

And yes, years add on its better to play it by the ear...

~nm said...

I stay silent when I know I am about to blow my top off and may say things which can be really bad and which I may not mean at all!

But yes, its something that we all need to learn! But itna asaan nahi hai na!

Parul Gahlot said...

the fights that we cannot resolve end in oral sex. I say fuck you and he says it right back. So romantic heh heh

Monika said...

completely agree with u... its the same everywhere and i agree silence really helps but the problem is that its hard to keep :)

Monika said...

btw forgot to mention that i loved the cartoon...:)

Gazal said...

yes,depending on the situation and the is

ha true

and more difficult to stay silent,even when you are right

Gazal said...

@parul i can say that i indulge in oral sex almost everyday....sat and sundays def more than

it is...and difficult to tolerate for others.

Balu said...

Hi Gazal - Its hard to convince a person that he/she is wrong without lowering his(her) ego and self esteem. And most of the times, instead of focusing on the real issue, we spend more time trying to prove and justify that we are right and the other person is wrong.
Logic,as someone said, is abundant in those whom we agree with and absent in those whom we disagree with!

Suma said...

sigh! should have read this before and zipped my mouth shut today...

i have such an ignitable temper....

double sigh...not that easy at all...

i like what prats and balu have to say...but siiiigh!!!

Scribblers Inc said...

thats not fair...what about the clan of the unmarried??

Scribblers Inc.

Mampi said...

...and thus spake Maharishi Gazal...
but you are absolutely right about silence being the biggest way to convey your logic - where you know words would fail. Why words fail is simply because we know each other in the marriage so well that we know what the other would say to what. So no fun being predictable (in an argument). Silence is better.

Gazal said...

and love doesn't agree wid logic..


well,the gen next should be prepared for the next...hence
welcome to my blog


so spoke maharishi manpreet !!

Ps said...

Strange--we don't fight over any of the issues mentioned here!(Stress,traffic,no water,no maid,leftovers from last night,re re re run of a movie,bathroom lights left on(by mistake),kids,their report card,forgotten birthdays..)
Oh, but we do fight.
And mostly it is silence from both sides--cold war, till one of us cannot bear it anymore.
I guess to each couple their own!

Manasa said...

My dad says: when there's a fight among the couple, one should always remain silent to calm down the other. Sometimes, silence speaks while words may not!

padma said...

hey gazal!!
Silence is golden!!!! :-))

June said...

i have tried this weapon on several occasions, it works sometimes,but not always.
When we are extemely angry we need to use silence until the anger cools down . Then sit and talk to each other, communicate the problem and try to resolve it before midnight. so that things don't get accumulated for future.

Gazal said...

but sometimes one is silent while the other is not.and its misinterpreted as weakness

it is.but not in friendship.this rule applies to only marital arenas.


i just resign that silence is good for my health


you sound almost divine.

Renu said...

When both are angry, its better that one calms down temporarily and sort out the issue afterwords. I dont feel that avoiding any issue is good, issues must always be resolved whether small or big, but always with a cool mind. because anger always overshadows your judgement and reasoning, evn intelligence.

Suresh Kumar said...

In some months time I may have to use this advice. But still its better to be aware of the real thing well in advance.