TAG

I have been tagged by xh a.k.a anoop and I'm grateful to him because it comes at a time when i'm suffering from a severe bout of writer's block.Actually,my usual absent minded head,intercepted it to be a tag, about "10 things you hate about girls".I had finally found a way to vent my frustrations.But luck was not on my side.However,who said you can't have the cake and eat it too(was a pessimist).
I'm bending the rules people and writing about both.so here's my take..err cake on the issue.

(The rules of the game are:---write 10 things u hate about the opposite sex---
at the end of the tag, tag 5 random bloggers to take up the Tag)

5 unexplainable mysteries about women.......

1. Why do we have to pretend to be on a diet always?Thin is in and hip and there are no decent clothes available if you aren't size 0..1.agreed.But,there’s really no harm in accepting once a while ,that we love to eat…err live to eat.

2. Please don’t deny it.It’s time to accept a bitter reality….bad driving and women have become synonymous !!!!Is it really necessary to peek into the rear view mirror, time and again, while driving,to adjust the makeup. Do you have to take your hands off the wheel and straighten your hair again and again and….???and btw You do have to stick your head out most of the time to reverse the car !!!!!!

3. speaking of mirrors,why can’t women resist the temptation to peek into every mirror they come across.In shops, lifts,rear view mirrors,hospitals, toilets and even through plain glass sometimes.Where there’s a mirror,there’s a woman next to it.

4. why do we have to wait,for someone to buy us a gift.Be it a chocolate,a dress or that diamond you dream about .STOP CRIBBING.Just go ahead and pamper yourself .It’s really unfair to expect men to read your mind and buy you exactly what you want.

4. Can we ever stop being paranoid about our age.Trying to look younger than you are,is not the only thing left to achieve in the world.Accept the fact that age and beauty are not related.
"you look so young" Can't you see it,men are conning us with that line, all the time.

5 things that make men ,what they are(adorable)

1.why is it so hard for men to accept that their wife's/girlfriends,have friends that are boys/men,but it doesn't make them their boyfriends.Men and women can be just friends is a bitter pill.isn't it??

2.stop telling your wife,who’s a homemaker,”aww,do you know what it is to go out and work,you are so lucky to be at home".Kids,home,groceries,homework,PTA,PMS,neighbourhood gossip,bills and maintenance and of course in laws.try juggling all that with just two hands.Try to swap places for a day,and let me see if you are still smiling at the end of the day.

3.Do you always have to act so bored and distracted and stony when you go shopping with women.It's really embarrassing when you choose clothes,by looking at their price tags.
A little bit of attention and your credit card is all we ask for.

4.Is it necessary to look at every pretty face that goes by,especially when you are with your wife/girlfriend?Stop giving inane justifications like “beauty should be admired”….”I love observing people”(how come you didn’t notice that good looking guy who came in?”)wink,wink
be creative and come up with better reasons next time.

5.Stop reading(pretending to read) the paper and don't answer in monosyllables, when you are asked " how do I look in the new dress OR howz my new haircut?
you get 'one quarter of an inch ' haircut,and still get complimented,by us,don't you?
and at least look at us when you are lying !!!

satish
guruprasad
arti
prax
darshini are hereby infected with the tag

PLAYING GOD

I am busy playing GOD these days ,

I have made the sky bluer ,

the trees and leaves cleaner,as if just polished and scrubbed

maidens fairer and prettier than they are,

clothes fancier ,their colours richer more beautiful than when bought

but i couldn't get the smiles on faces,the sparkle in their eyes,

or bring people together,and make them happy

so ,asked the big G,if He could allow me to do, JUST that !!!

"I have original copyrights on that one",said big G smiling.

I played god today and re-viewed history

today, i finally learnt how to use 'adobe photoshop' on my computer

and now am busy altering the way we look at the world.

BEFORE

AFTER

TO MOMMY WITH LOVE !!!!!

A long long time ago, as a little girl I promised myself,that I would be a much better mom to my kids.I would refrain from saying and doing anything that would break their 'oh so fragile hearts'!!
Time and genetics have proved me wrong.

This song is a tribute to the wonderful phenomenon called MOTHER.
whether you are one...going to be one...or are still suffering under one.
READ ALONG TO ENJOY IT AND TRY SINGING ALONG!!!!



Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here’s your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon

So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up

Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an egg A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of reality
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

GO....TAR...GO !!!!

A kabootar:Knock Knock???
B kabootar:who's that??

A: a kabootar..
B: what kind of kabootar???

A: err an indian kabootar!!!.....just like you!!!!
B: thats not good enough,are you a north indian/south indian/maharastrian/north eastern/guju???

A: hey how does it matter??
B: It does.How dare you question authority..... !!!!
shoo!!! this window is only for OUR community kabootars.

A: But then when I was studying at K school,they told me I could fly anywhere in this country and live at my own will.You know,the class where they told us… “Freedom to move freely throughout the territory of India and….Freedom to reside and settle in any part of the territory”.

B: Well,its' my RAJ.We make our own rules here,and according to this new rule all north indian kabootars,that includes you, can’t perch yourself here.Now shoo!!!!!
As it is,our own kabootars don’t have enough space here,and then you come here corrupt our world,litter our space,with with ….your weird language…

A: I thought that was our national language???

B: Ah ,only cultureless and stateless pigeons say that!!!!
All cultured pigeons speak...should speak only ,their own NATIVE language.

A: But I have always flown and worked with YOUR pigeons,shared their festivals,their food,sorrows and joys,how come THEY never complained.

B: Aah!!!!spoken just like a DUMB *****kabootar !!!!
Don’t you realize it’s not about them,it’s about US…main…mera ..mera ahem…mera ego!!
CHAL AAB BHAAG SHOOO!!!!!

FATAL LAWS OF ATTRACTION

If you thought newspapers ,only provided you, with all the high about news and views(guaranteed to make you feel the converse ),escalating frauds and scams ,broken political promises, the politics of sports, more good(err bad) news about the Bangalore’s new airport and of course the who’s who on tattoos and breakups. Wait for the weekend edition.
Monday to Friday the papers do just that, but the weekend edition trains you, for that extra edge. Do you wait to gorge the weekend edition of the newspaper, to catch up on the latest buzz on mundane things like restaurants,movies,theatre and bargain shopping? Then you are probably passé and archaic (like me).Check this out.From 'how to talk and how much to talk', to the latest research in locating soul mates. There’s a whole page devoted to PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT. It’s the age wholesome information, who needs a love guru, when you have ‘THE TIP’, served crisp and fresh for breakfast, on a Saturday morning.

And I quote……
(How to make a man fall in love with you)…TIMES are changing bhai!!!

1. Get a life. Your life should not revolve around a man. Have your own interests and hobbies, it’ll help in making you attractive.(the more the hobbies……. the more attractive a woman is!!!!!Equation simple)

2. Make him ask you out on dates, but don't ask him. It’s not about being old fashioned, it’s about playing hard to get.(of course courting and love is a game……who’s the hunter and who’s the hunted??)
3. Don’t be desperate. You must not agree to go out on a date the last minute. If he asks you out the same day, say no. Tell him you already have plans. He should know that you are a busy woman, with a life of your own.(even if you have been waiting to spend the weekend with him)

4. Do not answer every email or text message he sends you. This will give you some mystery and make him want to chase you even more. When you do plan to answer, make him wait a little bit, and don't answer the phone every time he calls. You can't let him think you are available for him all the time.

At the cost of sounding old, I would say, times have changed. This is indeed the age of meticulous calculations and planning.Whether, it’s love or relationships,the motto is….. “play hard to get and calculate what you’ll get at the end of it”. Elusive is exclusive??Whatever happened to good old spontaneity, an unexpected kiss or the peck on the cheek, cupid’s reliable assistant, which said so much more than words could ever. That last minute change of mind and heart, to go for a drive instead of a movie, because it was raining. And if you are still old fashioned and listen to your heart,still say yes to that unexpected suggestion for a drive,answer the phone promptly,answer mails readily.Then you are likely to confuse your man,about your intentions.

Spontaneity and romance just died an unnatural death, somewhere. Instinct and love just got replaced by the newspaper. I feel oddly old today!!!!

MANGALORE...HOW MAY I HELP YOU??

Five things no travel book will tell you about mangalore.

1.THE VIEW DOWN UNDER

If you don't have a window seat on your flight,you actually miss the "love at first sight" feeling,may be I haven't travelled or flown and seen much,but the sight of flying right over and along the west coast,is overpowering enough to make you forget the food and drink,even on an empty stomach. I must have gone down as the weirdest passenger in the history of Kingfisher Airlines,for flying the last half and hour of the flight with my head nearly plastered to the window.And in case,that doesn't interest you,Mr.Mallaya has provided with a lot of inflight on screen and off screen entertaiment.

2.SANAS

Sanas, are not some exotic coastal dancers but IDLIS.They can easily replace a sponge,whenever required,and are known for absorbing high quantities of chiken stew.Local gossip says they are fermented in toddy, no wonder they are so addictive and afternoon siestas become a must after them. (photographs not avaliable due to high levels of hunger)

3.TERE MERA 'BEACH' MEIN

If you ever dreamt of owning a private strip of beach,but always cursed lady luck,for being born in the wrong family,head to managalore.One of the rare privileges of being on an Indian beach,not a spot of commercial activity,no hounding hawkers and ogling gawkers,just endless surf and sand all to yourself.However Indians as we are,the feeling of being all alone on a beach,too is scary at times!!!

4.DO YOU LIKE IT HOT!!!!
No matter how much you deny it,there's no escaping it,whether you like it hot or cold,ICE CREAM doesnt come cheaper than this.

@ Rs.60 SOME LIKE IT HOT(ice cream in case your mind digressed)
sizzling brownie with a hughest dollop of vanilla ice cream(commercially served),a round of dark chocolate sauce and a generous helping of nuts.GASTRONOMIC EROTICA!!!!

5.And in case, you still didn't feel like a king err queen,picture this......you know you are in mangalore,when you reach adlabs in precisely 10 min(it takes lesser but the roads had been dug up that week!!!sorry for the inconvenience!!!)

Adlabs,on a saturday @Rs.120 and you have the entire theatre to yourself,except the 20 odd people who trickle in,who were a welcome sight,as the show stood threatened with the attendance less than 20.

Mangalore has become a habit and this is one habit,i'm not willing to give up.