Thursday, November 15

celebrating children

It's really easy to make children happy....believe is !!!!

just do something that will surprise them,something, that they just don't expect you to do.As a teacher,i have often surprised my students,on several children's day functions,by putting up awkward and amateurish shows as a choreographer,dancer,singer,fashion model and actor.At all times, the sight of their teacher in another role,just freaked them out.I interrogated a lot of kids in my apartment complex,on the 14th, about how their children's' day went by,sadly none of them,sounded content !!!I missed being at school,and seeing their bright faces.

In two days time Santosh had my scooter purring like a content cat.At fourteen, he knew more about two wheelers,than a forty year old experienced mechanic.Santosh,worked at 80 rs a day and he wasn't complaining.He had never been to school,his only learning being in the garage ,working almost 8-10 hrs a day and was proud of the fact that he supported his family.

When i asked him,if he knew ,that today 14th was children's day,he said, that was for kids in school and that he wasn't a child anymore.At that time,it was hard to believe that he was just fourteen.I guess he was right,because he wasn't doing anything that a child of his age should have been doing.As i was about to take his picture,he stopped me with his question,'why are you taking my photo,aunty?'I, who am always ready with my bag full of answers,had to think for a while,and told him,that i was writing a story, and that he was the hero of my story.
i think i told him the truth....not a story,the kind that we usually tell,to avoid and ignore questions that children put up to us.

Mayank,age twelve years celebrated his birthday,the same evening,and the celebrations were certainly the talk of Brigade millennium.With a party happening at two levels,with two different themes and two different D.j's,two different sets of menu's, and loads of games.It was every kids dream come true.I don't really blame his parents,like all modern over enthusiastic parents, they were simply using the depth of their pockets,to display their love to their kid (and the rest of the world).

what is it that separates these two children,almost the same age,and puts them in stark opposite lives.Money one would say......i think,it's a bigger word called, DESTINY....

I wonder if Santosh knows about, how children like Mayank celebrate their birthday....I hope he never finds out......

i wonder if Mayank knows,how Santosh spends his day......I hope his parents show him someday.


Veena said...

Mam,... I have a few thots on this .. I think I will put it up on my blog... bear with me till then.

Naveen said...

wonderful thought ma'm .... equal opportunities for all kids in india? tough go ....
santosh will probably end up leading happier & contended life after havinig received grooming through a rough childhood ....

satish said...

one of those posts that make my oversmart mouth go mum.

i often wonder why lineage is so important!

great post mam!

Prax said...

Why is everyone calling u ma'am ??


Great post ... and i totally agree. Sometimes it just seems like the world is a weird place with so much disparity.

But then it comes down I guess to each individual (child) and his HQ (in my psychology "research" i call it Happiness Quotient)

A person is groomed up for his HQ through life experiences, and I'm guessing for Santhosh - you made his day by satisfying his HQ - which was just to make him feel like a "hero"...hehe.. as is visible from the smile on his face

But my guess is the other kid at the apartment has a HQ that works on different parameters. Its hard to comment really without knowing "WHY" the party was organized so hi-fi ..hehe

Did the kid really ask for such a party ? Or was it the parents who organized it to somehow make him feel "special" ....

Prax said...

The only tragedy is that - sometimes parents through such lavish settings, put in this subconscious idea into kids' heads that
fun = lavishness

That can be a dangerous pattern to educate kids on, especially at an age nearing adolescence/teenage. Thats when most kids (if i remember right), start defining their own selfs and separate their own ideals from their parents (Hence the world war everyday where there is a teenager in the house)

dharmabum said...

yes, mayank's parents would do the kid more good by showing him the 'other' aspect of life than throwing these meaningless parties...and yes, destiny is a powerful thing.

the fact that u took time out to talk to that kid, and then share it with us here only shows what a beautiful heart u have.

Gazal said...

will wait for that !!

equal opp for all kids....seems like a distant dream,but i guess we could show our children the other side of the grass..

welcome back!!

brilliantly analysed !!
i guess as a parent i can only say that,we always tend to do a little bit more than what is needed for our kids and the reasons are manifold.....lack of attention and time for them...our own unfulfilled desires /dreams /insecurities....and prob a tendency to show class and stature.....mostly those who belong to the affluent class,do go overboard !!!
its a difficult balance to strike,for both the kids and us....

liked the analysis...

i don know why everybodys calling me maam..

DESTINY is a big word...esp when you think of children like santosh and mayank

Prax said...

@Gazal (ma'am ?)

Hehe...u hit the jackpot...and i was kinda hoping someone here who's a parent would say that.. Coz without having a kid of my own - i wouldnt really qualify to make that assessment

As you said, its often seen that parents do many things for the reasons u mentioned

1) compensate for lack of time with children
2) Living your dreams through your kids
3)Show off .. :)

Well the one common theme i notice here in all of this is - "Where is the child ", since although these are targeted externally under the pretext of the child's happiness - intrinsically they always tend to have an ulterior motive - to please the parents ... and to please the parent at times even at the cost of the child's real wants and needs.

(Parents here - please dont bash me for this only reciting what ive analysed from my study)

padma said...

Hey gazal,
A very touchy post & beautifully written.... guess one of your best till date!!
this post takes me back to my days at VVS & the childrensday celebration..... Waiting to get back to them to make a difference..


Gazal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gazal said...

so you decided to join the bandwagon too !!!!

you are completely right in your analysis(though i write only out of my parenting experiences!!!)

WHERE IS THE CHILD is an important question(this is an never ending topic and hope that you will take it up on your blog)

we don't even realise it, our kids ape us to the hilt,(even though they are so individualistic),and in the end parents complain abt their kids picking by bad habits,including spending money to gain happiness.)

you are making a HUGE difference to kids,by motivating their teachers..believe me !!!!
and am 100% sure that you enjoy being in both shoes.
miss VVS too.

Parul Gahlot said...

hey Gazal!

Really nice post! I rather liked the time when we used to distribute sweets on the class.
It's really tough for parents these days to figure out how far they should go to make the kids happy. Some how I am glad we grew up in a beautiful middle class childhood.

Adorable Pancreas said...

At least Santosh is in touch with reality. My parents used to take me to orphanages on my birthday. I hated doing that, but I realise now what they were trying to give me.

Prats said...

Its so touching and so true. I really hope Mayank sees the other side of the world too

Satyadarshini said...

Hey Gazz :)
Very touching post, and a very sweet pic there...
I too would rate this as the best post on ur blog till date...

I always wished I could help atleast one child's life that has been deprived of the basic means...I am trying.....!
and I am sure u r there to help and support me on any such plans!!

Gazal said...

believe me the sweets are passe...donknow whether the parents are to blame or kids.we were lucky to be brought up on excessive love and fresh air.

try to take my son too,but he resists hoping that somewhere it is making a difference

thanks for dropping by

me too!!!
thanks for dropping by

I think you inspired me to wake up from my slumber.
will keep it going..i promise!!!!

Joy said...

Hi Gazal,

Wonderful thought.I too have a 8 year old kid. Realised he should start learning the value for money too apart from family values.Off late started talking to him about kids like Santosh...seems he can understand the value and to help the people in need.

very touchy blog.

Gazal said...

thanks a lot.
just the right age to start,its difficult to make them value,what they have...but i think it does make an impact somewhere,someday!!!!

reshma said...

hey sons b`day is coming up and i want to celebrate it in some orphange...can somebody help me with details.....

reshma said...

hey sons b`day is coming up and i want to celebrate it in some orphange...can somebody help me with details.....

if yes then mail me at