Tuesday, March 31

lights, scalpel and action !!!!

He held my hand tenderly and asked,”Are you nervous.”
"No”, I replied, lying blatantly.
"You are in safe hands," he said and I didn’t want to believe any other man on earth at that time.His eyes smiled at me,for that was the only thing I could see of him.
He was still there when I woke up,peering at me,gently, still smiling with his eyes.It’s not everyday that a complete stranger waits patiently for me to wake up and tenderly asks me. “how are you feeling, now”?
"Never felt better!!! "I replied."It’s am amazing experience. Quite like falling in love. Actually better than falling in love !!!!"
My anaesthesiologist laughed out loud and said that he had seen and heard lots patients hallucinating under anesthesia,but never one with an improved sense of humour.

An operation theatre is far scarier than it looks in the movies ,esp when you are wide awake and can smell the atrocious fumigation fumes. They smell like death itself. The nurses and doctors (for some strange reason completely forget that there is someone remotely human lying on the table).There's a strict protocol that they follow to get the patient ready before the doctors step in.It seems so mechanical,just when you are so vulnerable.
It’s an amazing experience to hit the sack of unconsciousness in precisely 1 /100 of a second(esp for insomniacs like me) and then wake up without an alarm blaring in your ears and still feel like you have slept a hundred years. That’s the power of anesthesia.
While I kept the spirits alive in the OT, with my trademark sense of humour,I was shit scared inside. The very thought of not waking up ever and seeing my family, is probably the worst fear I have ever encountered. It’s a feeling unparalleled,in every sense of the word.
There was just one thing on my mind(as I came back) and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops(at least to my doctors, who were busy discussing patients and medical jargon). “I’m alive !!!” I screamed but I could hear just a whimper.I heard everybody laugh in the OT,despite their face masks.For the first time in my life,I thought I wasn’t being funny and everybody was laughing.

I feel like dying,I must have said this, so many times in the past,completely exasperated with school,kids at school,traffic chaos,home...work and homework .But,now I shall exercise special restrain in saying it again surely !!!!

P.s I’m alive, kicking and well and am accepting get well soon cards,flowers and chocolates.

23 comments:

Sangfroid said...

Hey Gazal ... My best wishes for whatever ailment you are recovering from.

Coincidence that I arrive at your blog on such a post. At first it appeared like fiction but later realized that it was very much real and about you.

Came blog hopping and will stay. Get well soon and keep posting.

Cheers :-)

padma said...

hey gazal!!
You are your chirpiest after the docs visit!Knowing you i wonder if it was just anaesthesia or..... the DOC himself! ;-))
welcome back!! :-)

cheers
Padma

Salil said...

Get well soon, G. Cards, flowres and chocolates are on its way!

Statistics says that four out of five patients survive a surgery. Just look around your ward, if there are four survivors, then it must be you who did not :-)

I hope you don't mean that falling in love is like getting unconscious. Or maybe, you are right...

Cheers,
Salil

Monika said...

ok first thing first... loads of get well soon cards, flowers and wishes coming ur way... what happened girl? i hope all is well now

and ya i know what u mean by that OT scene been there done that..... its scary but u turned that too into something to laugh at good going :) love the spirit

Shruthi said...

OT, medicines, ECG, uff it’s all revolting. I was there some 4 years back and I still barf at the sight of idlis' (I had them for like 2 weeks).
Gazal, am sure you’ll get well soon :). This is the best time for you to catch up on all those books you have always wanted to read. No, seriously you need rest and get loads of it.
Cheers!

Suma said...

has it been such a long time that i've been out of touch? why were u in hospital? :(

i had to be given general anaesthesia once and i swear it was quite a heady experience waking up!

u back to school?

--xh-- said...

:) yeah - echoing padma...is it the anesthesia or the Doc? ;)


glad that itz over and u r at ur best again :)

~nm said...

With such happy-chirpy patients like you am sure you won't find the docs and nurses in grouchy moods at all :D

Hope all is well at your end now and wish you a speedy recovery

Pretty Me!! said...

excellent way to narrate !! Get well soon :)

Nameless said...

Hey you just got me palpitating, it reminded me of my surgery & trust me it was the same emotion just that I didn't even have this much courage to narrate it so well like you have, post-surgery.

I totally agree, I always restrain from saying I am dying kind of things even jokingly, life is so beautiful & its worth living every moment.

I hope you are feeling good & I wish you a speedy recovery. :)

Satish said...

kya hua?? hope you are well.

Veena said...

>> The nurses and doctors (for some strange reason completely forget that there is someone remotely human lying on the table).

:) :) I can totally relate to that.. Get well soon !

Gazal said...

@sangfroid
welcome.Thanks a lot.

@padma
like i said couldnt make out anything else but his eyes.sigh

@salil
yes.both are similar.you are left wid a bitter after taste,after an encounter wid both.waiting for flowers etc etc

Gazal said...

@monica
thanks a ton.will wait for flowers and etcs.

@shruthi
ALAS.
am back to work.I wish you were my principal.:)))

@suma
heady..just like love isnt it.You think its a dream world...till reality hits you.

@xh
et tu brutus??sigh

Gazal said...

@nm
alls well and so am I.THANKS A TON.

@PRETTY ME
thank you.

@satish
alls well.You can still send the flowers.

@veena
coz its so routine for them that they become mechanical.I don blame them.

Mampi said...

You are amazing.
You inspire me.
I am sure you fascinate many-a few possibly left behind in the hospital-gaping after that lady just wheeled out of the OT.
Get well soon.

Gazal said...

@
my dear mampi.we live in a mutual admiration society and are loving it.

Sangfroid said...

Hope you are recuperating well n fast!

That is no new style :-P I did that only coz of lack of time.

Though I'm pretty regular now at http://geekydood.wordpress.com :-)

How do we know said...

COngratulations!! And here's to a speedy recovery!!

Gazal said...

@sangfroid
it's def a novel idea.thanks a lot.

@how do we know
am still accepting flowers.

The Geekie said...

Get well soon :)

Guruprasad said...

get well soon... back home?

and if there are more chocolates than you can handle, there's a willing recipient here! :P

hope to hear from you soon!

pujathakur said...

Hi,
Came here via Guruprasad's blog. You have a great blog over here :-)

I hope you recover from whatever is ailing. Do get well soon...

Take care,
Puja