lights, scalpel and action !!!!

He held my hand tenderly and asked,”Are you nervous.”
"No”, I replied, lying blatantly.
"You are in safe hands," he said and I didn’t want to believe any other man on earth at that time.His eyes smiled at me,for that was the only thing I could see of him.
He was still there when I woke up,peering at me,gently, still smiling with his eyes.It’s not everyday that a complete stranger waits patiently for me to wake up and tenderly asks me. “how are you feeling, now”?
"Never felt better!!! "I replied."It’s am amazing experience. Quite like falling in love. Actually better than falling in love !!!!"
My anaesthesiologist laughed out loud and said that he had seen and heard lots patients hallucinating under anesthesia,but never one with an improved sense of humour.

An operation theatre is far scarier than it looks in the movies ,esp when you are wide awake and can smell the atrocious fumigation fumes. They smell like death itself. The nurses and doctors (for some strange reason completely forget that there is someone remotely human lying on the table).There's a strict protocol that they follow to get the patient ready before the doctors step in.It seems so mechanical,just when you are so vulnerable.
It’s an amazing experience to hit the sack of unconsciousness in precisely 1 /100 of a second(esp for insomniacs like me) and then wake up without an alarm blaring in your ears and still feel like you have slept a hundred years. That’s the power of anesthesia.
While I kept the spirits alive in the OT, with my trademark sense of humour,I was shit scared inside. The very thought of not waking up ever and seeing my family, is probably the worst fear I have ever encountered. It’s a feeling unparalleled,in every sense of the word.
There was just one thing on my mind(as I came back) and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops(at least to my doctors, who were busy discussing patients and medical jargon). “I’m alive !!!” I screamed but I could hear just a whimper.I heard everybody laugh in the OT,despite their face masks.For the first time in my life,I thought I wasn’t being funny and everybody was laughing.

I feel like dying,I must have said this, so many times in the past,completely exasperated with school,kids at school,traffic chaos,home...work and homework .But,now I shall exercise special restrain in saying it again surely !!!!

P.s I’m alive, kicking and well and am accepting get well soon cards,flowers and chocolates.