CRICKET AND ITS 'MEN YAH' !!!!

It’s time to change the way we see, or feel ‘BLUE’.

Blue is indeed the colour of the season and cricket is back, with its biggest bang, as the national flavour,this time with no distaste in the mouth.NO !!!I’m not a cricket fan/buff, in fact I don’t watch cricket at all, and confess that didn’t witness any of the T20 matches,except the final ,because when you get an opportunity to witness WAR, that too without bloodshed and misery, one really can’t help be a part of it.
And what a war it was!!!!

The team is back, and has received a historic heroic welcome.Certainly,something which will go down as ‘once in a lifetime’,for onlookers in Mumbai,telly viewers,and of course Dhoni and his boys, as well. The media, as expected, is going bonkers, covering and reanalyzing all aspects and angles of the team, and nobody is complaining!!!!!!Well, The print media too, hasn’t left any page unturned, with out reminding the reader, several times in each second, that we are now world champions.

I wonder now, what would have happened, if team India hadn’t won the match that memorable Monday evening. What if sreesanth hadn’t been there to catch that ball, which had been so awkwardly handled by Misbah-ul-haq? Would it change the fact that, India played marvelously well throughout the tournament? Would we still adore Yuvraj, Irfan, R.P Singh and the others? Would we still worship and hail Dhoni and his destroyers???
NO!!we wouldn’t !!!We would have cursed and complained. We would have lashed out at the team, for crumbling under pressure,even charging them with allegations of Match fixing and being a thoroughly indisciplined lot.

The same companies,who are busy revamping their campaigns, and flaunting their blue brand ambassadors, would have taken all such print and media ads, off air!!!
Effigies would be burned, the families harassed, and the team would be hiding to save their faces, probably they would have needed tighter security at the airport, in anticipation of angry and dejected mobs…..see how the word changes from FANS to MOBS!!!!!

It’s a fact well known and displayed that we are a nation of unforgiving people who expect the world, from these men, and somewhere forget that it is a game and that whether we win or lose, the fact that we made it to the finals, and defeated an arrogant and invincible giant like Australia, should have been a reason enough to welcome the team back as heroes……

But, why worry about that……right now the flavour of victory is sweet ,and strong enough to be savoured over a lifetime…….

KYA DARD HAI ISKO..........DARD E DISCO !!!!!

Mannat
Lands end ,Mumbai

Dear Mr Shakrukh Khan,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health…… (as wealth…I guess is something you and the next seven in the kin don’t have to worry about !!!!)

I have to confess,that I was pleasantly shocked to see one of your (item )songs on television recently. Shocked, because at first, I thought it was some new kid on the tube,who looked like a cross between you and the very honorable Mr.Salman Khan. However on closer inspection, I have to admit I realized I was wrong,and this time the shirtless wonder was the other Khan. Quite frankly, at first glance the abs actually looked computer generated……. I mean, I may hurt your feelings by saying this, considering the fact that you must have “worked your abs off”…literally for such a ABSoulutely chiseled look ,which I believe you acquired at the insistence of your son!!!!!
Believe me , kids !!!!they can drive you up the wall with their demands. I am quite relieved, that my son sets out more achievable goals for us, like an X box or a game boy.

However,curiosity killed the cat in me as I failed to understand and make any head or tail out of the enlightening lyrics of the above mentioned song……I KNOW YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE JULMI NATURE OF YOUR beloved,
“Woh Hasina Woh Neelum Pari,
Kar Gayee Aise Jadoogari…..
Dil Mein Bechainiyan Hai Bhari…..
Dil mein mere hai dard e disco…
dard e disco…..dard e disco”

but how on earth does the disco become a source of dard…..AHA ,maybe that’s what they call,the absurd in poetry…(had only heard about it in theatre !!!)

As a concerned fan,I also wanted to bring to your notice certain unknown aspects about the song,which are quite puzzling….. , it seems they have shot a lot of footage of the video without your consent????
for e.g they have taken some pics while you must be taking a wash on the sets, (you I’m sure ,must be quite oblivious about it) ,I found it strange as to why you would like to splash around ,while in your jeans …..you must be aware that the monsoons are on and that drying clothes is such an effort….and that all the shirts that they have provided you, have no buttons……isn’t that weird???May be you never noticed!!!!!

I have also heard that the movie is set in the 70’s,maybe that’s why in the song, there is a certain sequence, with the girls in boney M style hair dos ,wearing leopard skin body suits(now you don’t want the PETA activists hounding the movie ,do you??)….and yet another sequence with everybody in mining helmets……I guess there must have been a power cut that day in the studio and the director made a smart move by providing mining helmets for lighting up the sets……I'm sure...!!!!

Oh….or is it that you have gladly consented to be part of this SHOW business….well, if ,yes,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL you that I CAN speak for **** crore janta who inhabits this country, that KAL HO NA HO…….YA PHIR ABS HO NA HO…… we love you and like you for being the original FAUJI and an adorable Commando Abhimanyu Rai(and the fact that I still remember your full name is the biggest compliment you can ever get !!!),

for being synonymous with the name ‘RAJ’,
for being the pensive and sensitive NRI in swades, who‘s torn between duty and desh……
for being Kabir khan,a fighter who turns pain and shame into victory……. and who reminded Indians that HOCKEY, is their national game.
and for raising the hopes of hundreds of teachers like me, who wished every new academic year, for that overgrown college drop out , Major Ram to walk into their class rooms and say main hoon na!!!,
For being yourself,on and off screen….for smoking ,while on air….. and making no bones about it and then apologizing to the entire nation, dancing at weddings and justifying it as being part of the show biz,and for staying away from controversy ……

(for all the hamming and all the kkkkk ing that you do, we forgive you…)

If, it is ever found out, please do let me know,
WHY THE SONG IS CALLED ‘DARD E DISCO’ ???!!!!!!

Regards and best wishes,

Gazal

HOT AND COLD TOO !!!!

O.K confession time…last weekend’s blogging…(rather it should be called posting)…left me exhausted…..three posts over the weekend….( in this part of the country Friday too is considered a weekend)…..completely run out of words so decided to become teletuby……

Have watched so much of Lakme fashion week ,last week that am inspired to buy some clothes…..‘Enough is enough”,I tell myself. Although, actually, Enough is never Enough in a woman’s wardrobe. Am pretty sure, it will take me 10 yrs of starvation and ten years of consolidated salary to buy even a ch**** from there…….
So I catch these poor girls (a friend’s daughters) ,while they were waiting for their college to open….actually I bribed them with the prospect of a good biryani lunch…
We head towards Commercial Street (THE shopping hub) in Bangalore…..and attack a popular clothing store (am tempted to use the word apparel….hangover of the fashion show I guess)

YOU look HOT aunty!”, exclaimed the 18 yr old ,as I came out of the changing room. I made a silly face just the way I do when a compliment comes my way…. “No way!,” I exclaimed…. “I am not buying this, I DON’T WANT TO LOOK HOT!!!”

“Wait aunty”,she said. It’s nothing to do with what you are wearing, but how you carry it, that makes you look hot….and right now you look hot in this tee shirt…..

History was in the making here…… I bought the shirt instantly, and those who have been subjected to the torture of shopping with me will realize what a miracle it was….. (not that I bought the tee shirt for the hot value attached to it)…but some how she had also made me see the fact that hot had little to do with skin show and exposure and was more of attitude and confidence. I don’t really blame myself for harboring such an outdated attitude…coz growing up in a place like Delhi,which still retains the leching capital crown on it’s head….. hot and sexy were always considered derogatory prefixes ,for ones personality….

The apparel…(ha ha) is put to test again the same evening, as the family prepares to go out for dinner…….a long hmmmmm from the hubby.Now a non verbal hmmmm is actually more confusing than any other compliment.
You look cool, ma! , compliment from the ten year old man in the house. I did not want to ask him what he exactly meant by that word, but knew that he meant every word he said.

It’s difficult to comprehend the modern vocabulary. In the past two days I have managed to draw two contradictory compliments for the same thing.
Hmmmm I wonder if this is that they mean when they say HOT …. COLD TOO !!!!
And YOU thought it was HAUTE COUTURE

Have realized that time is the biggest editor of dictionaries, and it’s time I upgraded myself to its latest version!!!!

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN"

"Frankly,my dear ,I don't give a damn !",has been voted as the favourite movie line ever.Well,nothing brilliant about quoting a line from Sunday's newspaper,but then the first post warned you against expecting anything remotely connected to brilliance on this space.

Rhett Butler,had a reason for throwing this line at Scarlett,but for mortals like us,we just want to flaunt this attitude of 'I don't give a damn' at everyone around,probably trying to project oneself as independent and immune to anything and anybody........
It's an attitude virus,spreading like an epidemic,but honestly,fact is stranger than fiction and fictional characters
the truth is ,we do care,much more than a mere damn,about and for a select few in our lives,

we crave for attention, no matter ,how much we deny it,we long for appreciation ,at work and at home,when we put in our best,we want to be complimented on how good we look,every time we dress(yet,every time we say we dress for our eyes only)

and no matter how much bloggers' may deny it,they DO write to be read ,and wait to be commented,and those who deny this universal truth,are probably still being untrue to themselves.

"I do care",and I love it when my friends tell me that they wait for me to post and update my blog,even though it may be filled with the crappiest of all content,i love it when my students send me mails telling me how much they enjoyed reading the 'Hyderabad post',but felt silly commenting on their teacher's writing !!.....i love it when my friend immortalised my blog,by posting a it as a recommended link and I love it when my anonymous prank,inspired a whole post on another,I respect and value all advice and comments ,that come from friends and well wishers(and never ever label it as criticism),when they tell me not to try too hard and be myself on the blog.

For i know only fools believe that they are perfect....

Please say 'I don't give a damn',but,
to hypocrites,
and to pretentious people,who lurk around you,
to office politics and neighbourhood gossip,
to baseless media reports of who kissed whom and who slept with whom.......

sorry,thank you and I love you !!!three expressions that will never change in meaning,and yet we chose to say them ,with so much attitude and discretion......

We all give and care much more than A DAMN,let's accept it and show it to the rightful, more often,than they deserve.....

CAUVERY MAIYA KI JAI !!!!!

This was the second time we had reached late,yet none of us were playing the blame game with each other.....a second time we had missed the coveted rafter......however the organizer took pity on us and swore that he had bent rules to adjust us !!!!

the wait was painful....the kids played cards and fought like wildcats,over Jacks , spades and points and created a din,which actually was welcome,considering the fact that Himesh Reshmiaaahhh crooned in the backdrop,and to top it all........the omlette bread turned out to be the most shameful thing that could be made out of an egg....


when i said the cauvery was slow yet seductive.....it wasn't just an overt usage...for everyone who sat at the banks(incl me),watched her absolutely mesmerised,this was not some fair Ganges ,which intimated you with her fury,but a dark,slow and muddy river,which still managed to give her fair cousin stiff competition......


an agonizing hour later....the huge grey whale arrived.....and we were ordered to 'leashen' (listen) to instructions carefully......a dummy drill of rowing.....all back...all front...T grip not to leave madam !!!!.....a few reassuring words about the cauvery being a peaceful river.....drowning instructions...err not to drown and panic instructions.......red life jackets(we were warned were 500 rs each). blue helmets......fancy oars....a tough looking row master,who chose to align us on the rafter , by tapping us on ours bums with his oars !!!

we looked more like aliens then adventurists !!!!


the instructions fresh in our head ,I was a trifle disappointed with the calm waters at first(felt only a pump in adrenaline was paise vasool)......but soon realised,the peace and the calm ,was worth every penny.......just as we were getting comfortable with our skills....and listening with' raft' attention to the riveristic jargon.....came two words from the R M

'Get off'...Now this wasn’t exactly the middle of M.G/brigade road/connaught place..,(actually between Cauvery and MG road….i would choose alighting at the former….for reasons best known to bangalorians)and since we had just been informed about the 40 feet depth fact,all of us retorted back at the poor guy with a …WHAT??


Gingerly and reluctantly, coz none of us had any faith in the 500 rs.life jackets we wore, we did take the plunge,and soon realized that the principle of buoyancy ,did really exist.Soon,the chill of the water disappeared, the life jackets proved themselves sound,surprisingly,none of us spoke,we just floated like inanimate objects ,on the muddy waters.


O.K!!!!sharp whistle from the RM,BTB(back to boat),now it was nearly impossible for us to climb back into the rafter,without support, so the RM,jumped in,to prove that the money we had coughed up was actually worth it.The drama,which followed was worth every penny,for those unknown to the sport,he caught the straps of our life jackets at the shoulders and then with a mighty grunt yanked us back into the boat.I chose to be uplifted last…..for I realized the guy should be warmed up…before he made an attempt on me…..believe me when he did……I found myself laughing uncontrollably,at the pretty picture,and was glad they were no cameras around…and i assured him that would recommend him for the Ripley’s believe it or not(India version) for sure….

The rest of the journey was uneventful, one more round of ‘get off’, however this time was met up a YIPEE !!!we had become seasoned now…….and the poor guy had a difficult time convincing us to get back to the boat.After about 15 min of synchronized and disciplined rowing,it was time for some rapid action,like a mini roller coaster,C tossed and twirled us,like one twirls the last remnants of those crushed badams,at the end of badam milk…..


Surprisingly, we all seem to be aware that this ride was over,for no one spoke as we passed trees,dotted with plastic bags...a sign that humans were here...... little islands and marshy banks…..oars locked to the side,the current gently pushed us out to a thick yellow rope,which signalled the end of the adventure.

9 kms and one and a half hour......now i know what they mean when they say.....time flew by!!


According to S, a dip in the Cauvery was pious and known to cleanse ,all our sins,
and we certainly had more than a dip…we had had a trip of a lifetime…..and now that my slate of sins was cleansed, I was ready to commit some more …….

CAUVERY ,COORG AND MY CAMERA !!!!!

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE NOTICED THE TIME ON THE POST...THIS POST WITH IT'S HEAVY DUTY IMAGERY HAS COST ME ...A NIGHT'S SLEEP....AND STILL NO SIGN OF ALIGNMENT.......

What makes an idyllic holiday.......
a tank full of petrol(i don't want to ever call it GAS !!),the company of the most jovial , gregarious ,and extremely travelled, 'R' family(used for reasons of privacy),a low down on every village and landmark,the best eating joints on the way,and no idea of what we were to encounter....!!!!!


COORG...AKA....MADIKERI....AKA.......KODAGU.....
(picture 1)
WHERE THE SAL WORE PEPPERY PYJAMAS...(oh damn!!not sure if they are visible...how many times have i told mohan to buy me a decent camera....at such times he becomes a good husband.....conveniently deaf !!)
and coffee grew like wild grass....the weather was whisky......yes whisky....coz according to local gup...it's risky to order anything but whisky....coz they take ages to fetch

FROM SHIVANSAMUNDRAM(120 kms from Bangalore) to DUBARE (banks of the cauvery....252 kms)

The cauvery behaved ,displayed all the characteristics of a typical woman...... resplendent in her many moods.......furious and roaring,breathtakingly beautiful,pregnant with the monsoons,as it cascaded down ,

at the shivansamudram falls.....(PICTURE 4)

(picture 3)

pouring and roaring and frothy and milky and spraying us with misty waters,as we watched it from a rickety bridge at abbey falls....(i mumbled a prayer,as i stepped on)

(picture 2)

seductive , slow and tranquil on the surface,yet deep and dangerous inside.....at the dubare forest reserve.....

TO BE CONTINUED..........

RADIO AND THE OLIVE GREENS !!!!!!

Please note that........
Any resemblance to the genre of poetry is purely accidental…….and unintended……

The rules and regulations of blog land
I may or may not understand

I hope ,I can borrow subjects from and for posts
and that won’t be constituted as plagiarism or post lifting
Coz chanced upon two words on a friends blog
and was reminded of a radiotic era gone by……

When books and the radio were my best friends(and a few others...of course)
When the postman was, as eagerly awaited as,
the monthly allowance……(am running short of appropriate similes off late)
And then spending a part of that measly allowance,
to buy yellow post cards to write to the radio station, requesting for songs and special people…..

Applying all the acquired skills from the physics practical lab, so as to fine tune the radio...........
till one could catch the faintest strain of that lovable signature tune -Col BOOGIE………
Of friendship requests from and to LT ‘S...LIEUTENANT(a time when the rank was more respected than the bank balance……)

If the unit adjutant acted as a censor,
there existed a civilian equivalent, in the form of ones ‘ mother,
for every letter was viewed and commented on …….
with disdain and a bag full of caution(ing) words….
But then one got smarter and caught the letters before she did……..


Of practicing and perfecting the art of letter writing,
to these unknown and unseen Men in Green,
who lived at destinations known as 56 APO and 99 APO…….
Of innocent friendships, exchanging pleasantries,
and the joy of discovering common hobbies,
and catching up with a few(lucky)ones,
when they touched base in the capital…….

‘FORCES REQUESTS’ ON ALL INDIA RADIO……….

FREQUENCY...... FORGOTTEN…….TIME…….. PROBABLY 10 PM….

BUT MEMORIES and IMPRESSIONS……….. UNFORGETTABLE