Friday, September 21


Lands end ,Mumbai

Dear Mr Shakrukh Khan,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health…… (as wealth…I guess is something you and the next seven in the kin don’t have to worry about !!!!)

I have to confess,that I was pleasantly shocked to see one of your (item )songs on television recently. Shocked, because at first, I thought it was some new kid on the tube,who looked like a cross between you and the very honorable Mr.Salman Khan. However on closer inspection, I have to admit I realized I was wrong,and this time the shirtless wonder was the other Khan. Quite frankly, at first glance the abs actually looked computer generated……. I mean, I may hurt your feelings by saying this, considering the fact that you must have “worked your abs off”…literally for such a ABSoulutely chiseled look ,which I believe you acquired at the insistence of your son!!!!!
Believe me , kids !!!!they can drive you up the wall with their demands. I am quite relieved, that my son sets out more achievable goals for us, like an X box or a game boy.

However,curiosity killed the cat in me as I failed to understand and make any head or tail out of the enlightening lyrics of the above mentioned song……I KNOW YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE JULMI NATURE OF YOUR beloved,
“Woh Hasina Woh Neelum Pari,
Kar Gayee Aise Jadoogari…..
Dil Mein Bechainiyan Hai Bhari…..
Dil mein mere hai dard e disco…
dard e disco…..dard e disco”

but how on earth does the disco become a source of dard…..AHA ,maybe that’s what they call,the absurd in poetry…(had only heard about it in theatre !!!)

As a concerned fan,I also wanted to bring to your notice certain unknown aspects about the song,which are quite puzzling….. , it seems they have shot a lot of footage of the video without your consent????
for e.g they have taken some pics while you must be taking a wash on the sets, (you I’m sure ,must be quite oblivious about it) ,I found it strange as to why you would like to splash around ,while in your jeans … must be aware that the monsoons are on and that drying clothes is such an effort….and that all the shirts that they have provided you, have no buttons……isn’t that weird???May be you never noticed!!!!!

I have also heard that the movie is set in the 70’s,maybe that’s why in the song, there is a certain sequence, with the girls in boney M style hair dos ,wearing leopard skin body suits(now you don’t want the PETA activists hounding the movie ,do you??)….and yet another sequence with everybody in mining helmets……I guess there must have been a power cut that day in the studio and the director made a smart move by providing mining helmets for lighting up the sets……I'm sure...!!!!

Oh….or is it that you have gladly consented to be part of this SHOW business….well, if ,yes,
I JUST WANTED TO TELL you that I CAN speak for **** crore janta who inhabits this country, that KAL HO NA HO…….YA PHIR ABS HO NA HO…… we love you and like you for being the original FAUJI and an adorable Commando Abhimanyu Rai(and the fact that I still remember your full name is the biggest compliment you can ever get !!!),

for being synonymous with the name ‘RAJ’,
for being the pensive and sensitive NRI in swades, who‘s torn between duty and desh……
for being Kabir khan,a fighter who turns pain and shame into victory……. and who reminded Indians that HOCKEY, is their national game.
and for raising the hopes of hundreds of teachers like me, who wished every new academic year, for that overgrown college drop out , Major Ram to walk into their class rooms and say main hoon na!!!,
For being yourself,on and off screen….for smoking ,while on air….. and making no bones about it and then apologizing to the entire nation, dancing at weddings and justifying it as being part of the show biz,and for staying away from controversy ……

(for all the hamming and all the kkkkk ing that you do, we forgive you…)

If, it is ever found out, please do let me know,

Regards and best wishes,



Parul Gahlot said...

Shah rukh Khan will be bowled over by this letter and appoint you official advisor!

Parul Gahlot said...

the above is Aamir Khan's blog. he actually reads the comments and replies to the intersting ones. Do write on it! Cheers!

Veena said...

Hi Gazal,

Havent seen the song yet ( not much of a tv viewer ).. But that was too good.. DARD E DISCO :) !! HA HA.. ! KYA DARD HAI ISKO ? ! :)


satish said...


the song is actually a disco and gyming required to attain that super-abs so to complete the shooting must have been very dardila. so the song.

there are really very few things under the sun that i dont know about.

so what exactly is ch****?!

padma said...

hey gazal!!!
That was a true gazal style about taking a go at BOLLYWOOD EStyle ;-)) or on the KING Khan!!
Have to agree that We forgive KING Khan for all the weirdo stuff he does at times just for the oltime sake of Faugi, Circus, kabhii han Kabhii nah....nnn we do LUV you Mr. Kabir Khan.....Chak DE.... DARDE DISCO ;-))

Gazal said...


will take it as a COMPLIMENT!!!!

dharmabum said...

i am not much of a fan of his. far from it actually. i think he gets monotonous.

this song, is it from om shanti om?

the letter perse, is hilarious. i am beginning to like this blog. once again, thanks for visiting, that way, i got to get here too :)

Suresh Kumar said...

The song always reminded me of the crazy frog video